When we are little, it is a given that we will listen to our parents and do as they say. But what happens when the tables are turned? When it is their turn to listen to us? We cannot as easily say, “Because I said so!” So what is the solution when aging parents don’t listen to us? They are adults and they’ve lived their life. Now they refuse to take your advice. They are not always right about the life choices they make. So how do you make aging parents listen? Here are some tips.
- Accept defeat. Aging parents may have become like children but they are not children. They are adult individuals who have the right to decide the course of their own lives. They have the right to live on their own terms. So, give up trying to make them see things the way you do. Only, be there when they need you..
- Pick your battles. If it is an important issue like safety, of course you need to impress it upon them. However, if it is not that significant, let it be. Let them live the way they want to and be happy the way they want to. Don’t patronize. Remember, these are the same people who taught you how to walk, talk and more or less everything that you know how to do. They are not children so don’t treat them like children. Treat them like the adults they are and try to rationalize. Give them your reason for saying what you are saying.
- Appeal to their conscience. If they are not willing to do something for themselves they may be ready to do it for the welfare of their kids or their grandkids. Let them know that you worry about them and that you need them to listen to you. They may be ready to heed your advice simply for your peace of mind or the welfare of their grandkids..
- Be patient. Don’t give up after one talking session. Do you remember how many times your parents had to ask you to finish your homework? Persistence will pay off. The next time you see them, bring up the issue again and ask them if they have thought about it. You might get a different answer this time.When you are dealing with aging parents, it is best to choose a good time to talk about problems. Ask them why they think about a certain thing a certain way instead of going into a confrontation. It is only going to make them more defensive. Try to understand why they are doing & what they are doing. If you manage to get some insight into their actions or the reason for them refusing your advice, try to come up with workable solutions.
Tribeca Care provides support for Elderly parents in Kolkata. Find more information for Elder Care services.